


Throw Away:  Feet, or Something

by brainofck



Series: Throw-Away [3]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-09
Updated: 2011-03-09
Packaged: 2017-10-16 19:50:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainofck/pseuds/brainofck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So.  The scene in the trailer.  The scene in the shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Throw Away:  Feet, or Something

Elijah was happy. The weekend off had been (nearly) perfect. The party had been great. The surfing had been amazing. And, odd as it had been, he'd gotten laid. Sorta.

Not thinking about that! Not thinking about how disappointed he had _not_ been when Sean didn't show for the after-surfing bonfire the hobbits had hosted. Not thinking about Sean's proposition. Definitely not.

He had the most recent issue of _Spin_ and an excellent (if he had to say so himself) selection of discs in the 10-changer.

Life was good.

He wasn't disrupting it with thoughts about that.

And, yay! Here was his Sam, arriving with coffee!

"So, what's this I hear about your massive cock?" Sean asked chirpily, as he settled into his chair next to Elijah's.

Elijah didn't even flinch. Just continued reading his magazine as if he hadn't heard. He wasn't thinking about that. Or talking about it either. Nope.

"Lij?" Sean asked, nudging his knee with a giant foot.

Elijah looked up, affecting slight confusion.

"Oh, were you asking about _my_ massive cock?" he said, with feigned surprise. He tried on his best thespian voice. "Because it is, indeed, a Godzilla amongst penises," he intoned, "but I have no idea what you might have heard about it, or with whom you might have had such coarse conversation…"

He returned to his reading, the picture of bored disinterest. Billy was snickering into his hand.

"I didn't hear any rumor about Elijah!" cried Dom indignantly. "What I heard was a rumor about Viggo having a tiny little weenie!"

Sean snorted.

"I know the rumor mill. I heard, 'Viggo's cock is smaller than Elijah's!' But any man with two eyes in his head can see that Viggo is _hung_ , so I think the original story was 'Elijah's cock is EVEN BIGGER than Viggo's.'" Elijah fought the sudden strong urge to protect his crotch, as Sean's eyes dipped meaningfully in the direction of the body part under discussion. "I wonder who could have started a rumor like that?" He finished, lifting his eyes not to Elijah's, but to stare directly at Dom.

Elijah used his magazine as a screen, watching the staring contest on the other side.

"Bills, why's he looking at me like that?" Dom asked, trying to sound wounded and innocent, but clearly on the verge of laughter.

"Because he knows you well enough to know that you are just the right kind of wanker to start scurrilous rumors about penises," Billy replied, gracing Dominic with an equally accusing glare, as if _Billy Boyd_ would never have anything to do with such tawdry rumor mongering.

Sean snorted, and poked Elijah with his gigantic foot again.

"This music is crap," he said, "Don't you have some NWA or Public Enemy or something?"

Relieved to move the conversation away from his little Elijah, he jumped up and headed for the big CD book.

"I'm sure I have 2 Live Crew in here somewhere," he said.

An inarticulate bellow issued from the other side of the screen.

"I swear by all that is Holy, if you play any of that vile, degenerate filth I will personally come over there and smash your demon stereo into thousands of tiny pieces!"

Sir Ian, apparently, did not appreciate late-80's rap.

The hobbit side of the trailer fell completely and utterly silent.

Then, in the most genteel and sweetest of tones, Ian continued, "Please do go back to discussing our Angel's gorgeous endowment!"

Elijah flung down his _Spin_ and fled the scene.

* * *

Elijah only saw Viggo twice all morning. Both times he looked distracted and irritable. Apparently he'd been dragged in unexpectedly for costume fittings and then the schedule had gotten mixed up and now Vig was in costume, but at loose ends. The last Elijah saw him, he was stomping off toward the Krafts tent.

Elijah wondered what the fall-out was going to be when the "smaller than Elijah" rumor got around to Viggo. If it hadn't already. Maybe that was why he was so crabby.

Elijah had successfully avoided everyone since he left the trailer. The schedule really had gotten mixed up, and he had been free as well for most of the morning. He had spent it hiding in Liv's trailer. But PJ's assistant had come for him. Apparently some late afternoon filming was back on track.

He sighed deeply. He was going to have to face them all eventually. Sean. Sean. Viggo. Dom and Billy. Orli. Ian. He shook his head. Why did it bother him so much that Ian was probably having fantasies about his hypothetical cock right now?

"You OK?" Sean asked, falling into step beside him.

"Yeah, Sam, thanks," he said, not putting much effort into it.

"I thought you should know that I heard another rumor about you and Godzilla this morning," Sean muttered out of the side of his mouth.

"Great," Elijah replied.

"You, and Godzilla, and Beanie, to be more precise," Sean continued.

"Yeah, well, you don't have to say it. Nothing that rumor says is true! Except. Well. Except it is. Sorta. Beanie and I slept together. And we did... um..." Elijah groped for a way to describe what happened that wouldn't make him want to kill himself from embarrassment.

Sean stopped dead and caught him by the arm.

"You are _fucking_ kidding me, right?!" Sean hissed.

"Nope," Elijah said. He tugged himself free and continued on toward the set.

Sean had to run a few steps to catch up.

He was quiet for so long, Elijah finally looked over at him out of the corner of his eye.

Sean looked thoughtful. Almost pensive.

"Well," he finally said, almost as if musing to himself, "maybe it's a good thing. It'll certainly put the final nail in the coffin of those rumors about you and me..."

Elijah snorted.

"Yeah, well, wait until they run it through the Sean Astin rumor algorithm. They'll hear 'Elijah fucked Beanie!' and go, 'Naaahhhh! That doesn't make any sense. The original rumor must have been 'Elijah fucked Sean.' Yup. I'm sure that was it.'"

" _Fuck_ ," Sean said flatly.

He gave a deep, heartfelt sigh.

"Look, just you keep Godzilla in your pants if you can't be discreet enough to keep out of the rumor mill. I've got a family flying in soon, you realize..."

Elijah shrugged. They walked on toward the set in companionable silence.

* * *

The day had been long and grueling, in a boring, hurry up and wait kind of way.

Now they were finally arriving back at the trailer, exhausted. Makeup was, thankfully, ruthlessly efficient, and they were all de-wigged and de-eared, and relieved of their costumes in record time. Viggo had gotten to the little shower first and quickly rinsed off the worst of the filth and the sweat.

He pulled back the curtain to grab a towel from the stack on the back of the toilet.

And there was Sean, standing in the open doorway.

Viggo suppressed a yelp of surprise and resisted the urge to cover his nakedness with the shower curtain. Sean chose to stand there. It was his own fault if he got an eyeful.

"Is there some way I can help you?" he asked, stepping out into the tiny bathroom and bending over to towel down his legs.

"Yeah," said Sean. Viggo smirked to himself. The man sounded a bit shaky. He stood up again, drawing the towel up his torso and then quite deliberately toweling off his hair. It was practically a lap dance. Sean was hardly an arm's length away across the miniscule enclosure.

Sean ran his tongue over his lower lip. But rather than back off, Sean called Viggo's bluff. As if making a sudden decision, he stepped away from the door frame and in one fluid movement, pulled his t-shirt over his head. He shucked his jeans and boxers together, and suddenly, Viggo wasn't the only naked person in the room.

Viggo wasn't quite ready for that. His dick was pretty enthusiastic about it though. _Fuck_.

"Did you leave any hot water?" Sean asked crowding him, and leaning around to get to the faucet. Viggo leaned away and carefully edged toward the door and a quick getaway.

"Don't get dressed!" Sean admonished.

Viggo stopped dead in his tracks and gripped his towel a little harder. Sean continued to adjust the water. He settled on a temperature and ducked under the spray.

"I was thinking maybe Elf Boy needs to learn a lesson or two about what happens when you spread rumors," Sean said, just a little too loudly.

Viggo sagged in relief. Or possibly disappointment. This day had been a real bitch. Well, at least the poem hadn't come back. Still...

Viggo poked his head into the shower.

"Keep your voice down!" he said, much more quietly. "What did you have in mind."

* * *

Orli came barreling through the door of the tiny sleeping area, and banged on the door of the bathroom.

"Leave some hot water for me!" he yelled.

Then turning around, he caught sight of Viggo.

Lounging against the head of the bed.

Nothing but a towel on.

He just stood there with his mouth open, staring at Viggo. Who was feeling quite smug.

As he had been, well, _stimulating_ himself, and there was a very impressive lump there under the towel...

And Orli certainly noticed.

"I heard from certain parties that at lunch today you were not just relating a rumor that you heard from someone else," Viggo said quietly. "I heard that you were actually the person who _started_ that rumor. Not to mention the one that Sean is some sort of bottom-boy slut..."

Orli was nearly drooling on himself.

"I would love the opportunity to personally disprove that rumor," Orli said huskily. "Maybe even the one about Sean, too."

"You could talk me into that," said Sean from behind him. He stood in the doorway, damp and glistening. The gods of sex that ruled from on high were jealous at the sight of him.

"Well, come see for yourself, then," Viggo invited him. Orli took the first step toward the bed.

"Shower first," Sean said firmly. "And Orli..."

Orli turned wide eyes on him.

"We are very annoyed with you. So if you want prep, you'd better take care of it yourself."

It was like giving the boy permission.

He turned back to Viggo and looked him right in the eye. Then, Orli very deliberately crossed his forearms in front of him, grabbed the hem of his shirt, and lifted it slowly over his head.

Viggo got the front view. Impossibly slender waist. Tight abs. Sun tat. Smooth as silk.

Sean got the back view. Sinuous flexibility. Broad, muscular shoulders. Perfectly proportioned.

Then he shimmied out of his loose jeans. There was nothing under them to remove.

And he stood there, as perfect as Sean, though slimmer and longer, where Sean was denser and broader. Viggo's brain just stopped functioning.

Orli hit the showers.


End file.
